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Years ago I wrote a book called Self Sufficiency. As it was a great success I followed
it up with a book called The Complete Book of Self Sufficiency.
I began to advocate self sufficiency out of
concern for the environment. In 1931, when I went to agricultural college,
I was already worried about the way the world was going.
I did not like the replacement of agricultural workers by big machines and chemicals.
I did not like the way farmers in England were plunging themselves into debt,
and becoming nothing more than the vassals of banks and finance companies.
I did not like the way small farms were being swallowed up by
big ones; and small fields were being knocked into big ones; and
small overdrafts were being made into big ones; and small dole
queues were being made into big ones. Also, I was not sure I
liked the chemical revolution. It did not seem to be making
smaller farmers richer, which they deserved to be. And I did not
think it was good for the soil. I think, even in those days, I
had worked out that we humans are soil organisms. We are
creatures of the soil and it behoves us not to abuse it. |
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I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to
empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or
else........!!
I said I would, and proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with
the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the second
bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink
which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured
the bottle down the glass, which I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it,
then threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and
poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the
drink and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses,
corks, bottles and sinks with the other, which were twenty nine and, as the houses
came by, I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle,
which I drank.
I’m not under the affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am. I’m not half as
thunk as you might frink. I fool so feelish, I don’t know who is me, and the drunker
I stand here the longer I get!
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